The Domain of Superstition

When I was young I would go to a game store just about every week -- not to imply that my family was at all affluent, but I did have a certain two grandparents who lived far above their means. I usually had little trouble purchasing rarities when they appeared, whether I had to ask in the vicinity of the first of the month or to save up on my own. I was most often on the lookout for Sonic games as I had every intention of playing them all; and some other things like Klonoa 1 and 2 and a Game Gear/Sega CD/Saturn/whatever else might constitute a beloved adornment to my collection. This bit is clearly irrelevant to the article. The point is that I had to count it a matter of luck whether or not something I wanted would show up at the store, and this led to, look here, at this little title header:

Gaming the System

I found that when I would give up on finding a game, I mean really give up, it would show up almost immediately. It is easy to say that you have given up on finding something, but this cannot be the case so long as you still wish to have it, unless you commit an act which professes your giving up. So, if it seemed an impossibility to find a game that I simply had to experience, I would watch a let's play, ruining myself for the game's scenario, sating the desire whilst not having the legitimate reward. This never failed, in fact being so precise that a given game would usually show up within one week of my watching its playthrough. The games I really held out on, though, they never showed up. I would not watch playthroughs of Sonic Adventure 2 nor Sonic CD, naturally because those were some really special games. So, I never got them practically until I got Internet access, and for Sonic CD I had to download the PS3 remake. And get this: it is impossible to watch a playthrough of a game console, so I never did find a Game Gear nor a Sega CD. If your desire is to have yourself a relationship with a woman, I advise you never to take this route. You may have given up, or have felt that you have without actually having done so; but the only way materially to profess your giving up is to take certain unseemly measures which will not be detailed in this document.

Blaming the System

I first harnessed the Web through DSL in 2014, then the prices got too high to manage and the service was too poor; so in 2015 we underwent the unspeakable downgrade from home Internet to prepaid mobile phones. In those days you could run every app you needed on a $40 Android 4 phone with a 240p screen -- I REALLY miss that, by the way. Living in an area where electricity and phone lines hadn't yet been for a full twenty years, the mobile reception was unsurprisingly horrid; and it still is, getting worse by the month. I found that I basically could not use the Internet in the house anymore, and would have to go outside where it still didn't work. The nature of mobile reception involves things going through and then not going through, no connection staying active for very long. So, I personally found that if I thought certain ways or held my hands in certain ways, the connection would be more obliging. Note that these were not entirely illogical: I found that it worked better if, when I had a song in my head (I spent all of 2015 and beyond with a song playing in my head verbatim) I would keep it playing louder and most accurately, overpowering my own thoughts. At the time it felt like appeasing a fickle god, but now I must consider the possibility of telekinesis; the unseen waves being manipulated in midair by my own unseen thoughts. The other method I found was to hold my hands in a claw formation around the phone, which is logical because a phone pretty clearly should not work with your flesh against it insulating it from the signal. If my phone was in my pocket it would get no signal at all, so again this makes sense. While this all was going on, my mother found it useful to tap against the back of her phone with a fingernail, but this was obviously preposterous because the electronic components will feel absolutely nothing from just their casing being tapped on lightly.

I Am the System

Aside from or possibly complimentary to all of this, I have found that the opposite of what I think usually comes to pass. Simply enough, I choose to think in opposites from the outset in order to avoid unnecessary misfortune. I have tempered myself to be an unrelenting cynic, seeing the worst in everything and the worst possible outcomes imminent. It always worked before, but these days the worst really does always happen. In any case, in unimportant situations I often scold myself for minor thoughts, such as, upon reaching the top of the mountain, thinking "I'm safe." This is dangerous. You have not made it, you have no indication that you will make it, and you must not tempt God with your baseless certainty. Anyone who says that he shall be alive ten minutes from now is a fool. You have been warned.